And The Winner Is...

...God. As usual! :-)

Just got my biopsy results back, and everything was benign. Thank you to those who prayed; I needed those prayers. The test--thanks to my body's propensity toward the abnormal--was difficult and painful. But God, who sustains us at all times, was very present in those moments. May His glory increase... :-)

My recovery, though not yet complete, is already way ahead of where I was a few years back when I had something similar done, so praise Him for that too! :-)

Blessings,
-J

Psalm 100
A psalm. For giving thanks.

1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.


From Isaiah 40:
18 To whom, then, will you compare God?
What image will you compare him to?
…
21 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
…
25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
…
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Right Now

Right now, I am just the tiniest bit....something. I am not sure if it is fear or anxiety or something else completely. But it's not normal, and it's not something that I'm going to invite for residence.

Now the good news is, I know that all that concerns me is not determined right now, or even in the future. It was all settled long ago...very long ago.

And I can rest in that. God made me, God knows me, and all that filters into and out of my life has His full knowledge. And I know that He is good! A core goodness, a goodness that I can collapse into and be supported by. A goodness that is fully, completely, unequivically good. And I love that every ounce of that goodness is mine, is focused on me (though on the rest of creation too). I love that He loves me so much as to reveal this to me and to burn it down into the very deepest places in my soul.

And because he is all of this--and so much more--I trust Him. For everything, in everything, through everything.

Tomorrow I go in for biopsies. They don't like what the mammogram showed. But no matter the 'outcome,' all that concerns me is settled, and all my concerns are answered by His goodness and love.

So no matter what the next week brings, what I'll invite into my life is not this niggling little something, but The One. Period.

-J

(c) 2008

The Trouble with Mostlies

Something hit me this past week, a realization that is disturbing, and worse...convicting.

I tend to, at least lately, give God my "mostlies." Do you know what I mean? I...mostly obey, mostly prepare, am mostly honest, diligent, patient, faithful. I am not, however, fully {fill in blank}. I am not giving God 100%, and thus, I'm not giving anyone 100%, not my friends, family, nor employer. It makes me squirm just to type this, 'cause I know that 'mostlies' don't cut it. I know that as a believer, I'm not allowed to cut such corners.

Now, lest you think I don't have a good reason for my 'mostlies,' I do: I don't want to. Isn't that a great reason? I am tired or irritated or lazy or selfish or greedy or whatever the sinful motivation may be, and I just don't want to. That'll get me off, huh?

I Timothy 4:12, 15
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity...Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. NIV

Now the young part is getting to be questionable (If God says most will live to 70-ish, then I've just hit middle age--ugh!), but the principle is clear: Live your life so that you are an example in speech, life, love, faith, purity. Do these things diligently, giving yourself wholly to them, so that you might be an example.

Well, I've been an example lately. A quiet, bad example.

What I really want is for me to just stop being this way. But what I recognize is a pattern, a habit, and habits have to be 'unpracticed' to be removed. I think I have some work ahead of me. It's not going to be easy...my flesh likes the slack it's been cut. But somehow, this 90% attitude that has crept in is keeping me from being all God calls me to be. And not being all He asks of me is simply not possible. The cost was already too high, and since I'm not my own, well, there's not really a decision to make, is there? Obedience to the One who gave all is the call. So...

Out with the mostlies...On to fullies now.

-J

(c) 2008

Ten Things for Tuesday

Usually when I start a blog, it's because I have something to say, I know where I'm going. However, I am realizing that I have apparently fallen out of the habit of composing blogs over the last three months, so I'm starting this one without knowing what I am going to say.

Let's see...one of my friends always does a "Ten Things for Tuesday List," a collection of 10 random thoughts, comments, or happenings. I'll try that.

1. I am currently on my lunch break, and I'd like to say that I cobbled together a really good lunch today. I had...1 cup of brown rice with 1/2 cup of lean ground beef, topped with 1/2 cup each of fresh tomatoes and broccoli, heated through and dressed with tamari sauce. And an apple. YUM!

2. The weather where I live is generally crazy, but today is really nuts. It's going to be 80 record-breaking degrees today! I, of course, haven't listened to the weather for a few days now, so I am wearing one of my heavier sweaters. Guess I won't need to use the space heater in my office today! LOL!

3. Here's a little personal tidbit: I drink a lot of water every day. I mean a lot...to the tune of 12 to 18 eight-ounce glasses daily. (For you non-science majors, that's around 3/4 of a gallon to a gallon--or more--of water.) I don't know why my body likes this much water, but it does, and it doesn't seem to cause me any problems (other than the need for frequent breaks! :-D). Now, I generally don't drink much else in a day other than one cup of coffee in the morning. I don't usually drink cokes/soda/pop, juices, or tea, so water is pretty much it for me. (a caveat, for the worriers in the group: Don't worry about me. My body has done this for years and years. I am not sick and I don't have diabetes or any other such disease. I just need a lot of water.)

4. I can see God doing really exciting things in the lives of my closest friends and family members. It is really great to see His hand at work in their lives.

5. I lead a pretty sedate life. My week almost always consists of these basic components, with little variation: work, church, teaching, discipleship, preparing for teaching and discipleship, going to the gym, and the life-maintenance items you just have to get done (laundry, dishes, shopping, etc.) The nice thing is--though I sometimes long to travel again--I am really so very happy with the life God has given me!

6. This one's really exciting: One of the girls I disciple accepted Christ as her Savior two weeks ago. WHAHOO!!! I should probably move this one to number one!

7. I love teaching the middle schoolers on Sunday mornings...and that is SUCH a "God-thing." Prior to two years ago, I really disliked middle schoolers, despite my degree in secondary education. Now, teaching them is the highlight of my week!

8. God gives me the coolest ideas for teaching and applying His truths to the lives of my middle schoolers. Each week I ask Him how I am supposed to teach the passage, and each week we do something new and different that He has laid on my heart. I cannot tell you the blessing it is to be using His gifts through the enablement of His Spirit to teach His Word. I am humbled and blessed every week.

9. I love my work (supporting a local church administratively), but I don't like feeling that I can't do anything well due to how many things there are on my plate. Changes are slowly coming down the pike, but until then, I live under the tyranny of the urgent, constantly trying to just do enough to keep each ball I juggle from crashing into the ground. I look forward to the changes that are coming.

10. There are two rooms in heaven--other than the throne room of God--in which I hope to get to spend a lot of eternity: the library (there is so MUCH that I'd like to read, but I never have enough time to read it all) and the "Videos of History" room, where we'll get to see different events in history (or even our own little lives) from all the different perspectives, including God's. I really am looking forward to being able to see more of this life through the lens of His hand at work. I think that would be the coolest thing. (Just a caveat: I have no reason from Scripture, the authority on heaven, to believe these two rooms exist, but if they do, look for me there!)

Well, I've hit ten just as my lunch break is over, so I'll run for now. I'll work on composing something thought-provoking for next time!

Blessings,
-J

(c) 2008