Right now, I am just the tiniest bit....something. I am not sure if it is fear or anxiety or something else completely. But it's not normal, and it's not something that I'm going to invite for residence.
Now the good news is, I know that all that concerns me is not determined right now, or even in the future. It was all settled long ago...very long ago.
And I can rest in that. God made me, God knows me, and all that filters into and out of my life has His full knowledge. And I know that He is good! A core goodness, a goodness that I can collapse into and be supported by. A goodness that is fully, completely, unequivically good. And I love that every ounce of that goodness is mine, is focused on me (though on the rest of creation too). I love that He loves me so much as to reveal this to me and to burn it down into the very deepest places in my soul.
And because he is all of this--and so much more--I trust Him. For everything, in everything, through everything.
Tomorrow I go in for biopsies. They don't like what the mammogram showed. But no matter the 'outcome,' all that concerns me is settled, and all my concerns are answered by His goodness and love.
So no matter what the next week brings, what I'll invite into my life is not this niggling little something, but The One. Period.