Thursday, September 18, 2008

Crazy Things: A Sampling From My Life

I thought I would share with you some random, crazy things from my life over the past few weeks:

1. This one kinda was a bee in my bonnet: The dinner theater I mentioned a couple of weeks ago? We ran out of portions of our catered meal every night. Ev.er.y night. I was really, really not happy. After some negotiations, however, we did resolve the conflict...I thought you'd be happy to know. :-)

2. Around midnight or one a.m. about ten days ago, I was chased down in my bathroom by a...are you ready for this?...a SCORPION! Seeing how I'd never seen a scorpion in my life until earlier that day, I was SHOCKED! I was standing there in those lovely new white sandals I showed you last week, and *trot* *trot* *trot*...like he owns the place, in comes a scorpion. He was probably only three inches long, but he was definitely a scorpion. Aahhhhhh!!! Impressively, I think, I did not scream, though the gasping intake of air I grabbed probably shorted some other soul of their oxygen. And then, responding quickly and in an unexpected way...I killed that sucker, yes I did. And I'm proud of me for doing so. Dissenters will not dissuade me.

3. I nearly killed someone, and possibly myself too, last week. I am not being hyperbolic here. I distinctly remember being alert and having both hands on the wheel as I was driving home around 10:30-11:00 p.m. after one of our dinner theaters. I exited the interstate onto a road that quickly merges left from three roads to one. You must quickly look in front of you, quickly look behind you, and get thee over! It is not particularly well lit in this spot, but it's not dark either. However, it was dark enough for me to miss the dark-skinned man wearing dark clothes, talking on his cell phone, while walking in the middle of the road at 11 p.m.! It was also just beginning to mist, so when I slammed on my brakes, my car careened from side to side, narrowly missing the very surprised man and just missing hitting the right curb (had I hit this, going 45 miles per hour, I really think I would have flipped my car and rolled down the embankment). By God's grace--and I suspect some angelic involvement--I and the man survived the incident, and I drove on away. There was no point in stopping. He was alive, and if I had regained the use of my tongue at that moment, I might have beaten him to death with it. Crazy!

4. I gave myself a third-degree burn during our dinner theater. I thought I had put out all the Sterno cans, but there was one where the lid was just a tiny bit tilted. So for two hours, this little piece of metal heated and waited, and heated and waited...for my middle finger to find it's nemesis. And find it it did! Let's just say, I expect to lose a portion of that finger, along with the feeling I've already lost. Uh...oops?!?

Well, that's just a sampling. Check back soon. Who knows what kinda trouble I might get into around here! ;-)

-J

(c) 2008

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

"Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."

When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

--Mark 12:28-34, NIV

3 comments:

Beth said...

burnt offering...you crack me up!

t said...

Good thing someone had some really cool gel-burn-bandaids.

BTW - ought you clarify losing part of your finger? While technically true and sounds much more interesting when worded that way, could make the fam worry.

Rachel said...

Hmmm, bunson burners, sterno cans. Hmmm, I am just thinking that J and fire Hmmm, just thinking out loud here. HAAAA HAAAA HAAAA. Would you like some of Tyler's burn cream. It is wonderful stuff!!!

Scorpions. WOW. I am impressed that you killed it. And I am glad that that you were save in your travels. That would have been scary. Glad you kept your tongue.