UGH!! I have had a lousy start to my day and my week.
It started when someone needed to interrupt my morning schedule. This was the very first thing that happened today--as in, I was still in bed (though I had begun waking up)--and it turns out that this is a problem for me. I am not nearly as flexible...or as kind...as I ought to be. UGH!
Then I thought, "Just let it roll. Move on, and you'll be fine." But I'm not fine. Every time I interact with someone today, I find myself irritable and snappish. And you know, even if these things could be earned--and I don't see a record of Jesus being snappish so I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to be--these people didn't deserve my attitude. But out it came anyway. UGH!
I try to make my first thoughts of the day prayer. I find this usually gets me off to a pretty good start. But this morning, my first thoughts were of things I forgot to do at work on Friday. Things that were needed for the weekend or that should have been moved to someone else's plate in a timely manner. I really hate realizing that I am behind, that I have messed up in this way. And I don't like that the crunch I felt last Friday at work has now rolled over to my Monday, and thus my new week. And all of that put me in a foul mood from the get-go.
I am seeing what I'm calling The Rollover Principle: When something doesn't get done in timely way on one day, it rolls over to affect the next. Or when I go to bed late one day--for good or lazy reasons--I start the next day with a deficit, either of time (oversleeping, which is my body's inclination) or of sleep. One action affects the next, and if one tiny thing gets out of alignment, all kinds of chaos ensues.
And it sometimes [read: especially today] feels like I'm living in the middle of said chaos. I'm not sure how to stop the cycle. It's like I can't pull back far enough to plan well for all that needs to happen. Don't worry--I'm working on figuring it out, but today, I am its servant, not its master.
I do think this is part of why God ordained days/periods of rest--of cessation. I wonder if this wasn't partly intended to create that margin, that gap which provides some relief from the whirlwind grind of daily life. I don't believe that the Sabbath (and according to the entire Old Testament, that is Saturday, guys *wink*) is part of the commands for the church (feel free to disagree (-:). However, from the very beginning, God Himself, though never tired (nor in the midst of chaos!) set a pattern of break-taking. I do try to observe a day of rest each week, but the chaos simply seems to pick up again the following day. Somehow, I'm not getting something right...
MMMmmmmmmmm.... I'm ready to skip this week. It looks pretty intimidating from my Monday morning, and I can't seem to find an attitude that will lighten things up.
Feeling like my week's on my back & not liking who I am today,
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love...He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities...for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.
--Psalm 103:8, 10, 14, NIV