Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Things I Love About The Journey

The Journey has been filled with ups and downs, pluses (mostly) and minuses (a few). It has certainly been filled with pit-fall-ins and get-up-agains. But mostly, I've really loved this journey.

I am now at 85+ pounds trimmer. I find that very, very surreal. If you've never made this journey, or had as far to go on this journey, you may not understand this, but...I never imagined (really and truly contemplated) that I had that far to go. That far, and more. I tossed numbers sometimes, but mostly, you are just going through life, one over-eating moment at a time, and not thinking about what it would take to get back to a healthy weight.

And here's what it has taken me:
--13 months, so far
--Lots and lots and LOTS of daily decisions to do 'differently'
--Lots of self-/re-educating
--Lots of cash: Weight Watchers, gym membership, rebuilding my wardrobe--4 times!, healthy foods (they cost more!)
--Lots of emotional energy (You simply don't get that heavy without playing some mental games that have to be unlearned and redefined in the shrinkage process.)
--Lots of spiritual energy (It wasn't my genes; it was my choices. And many of those choices were sin, plain and simple.)
--Learning: to make wiser choices, to refute the naysayers, to put my old (gluttonous) nature into subjection

It's been hard sometimes. But not always. And there have been some very wonderful benefits:
--Getting to redefine myself through my (new!) wardrobe
--Being able to shop anywhere, not just at specialty stores/departments
--Being seen as taller (seriously!)
--Having people not recognize me (This actually happens quite a lot these days.)
--Not being able to recognize myself (I mean this literally. I sometimes mistake my own reflection for someone else.)
--Feeling oh-so-much-more comfortable in my own skin
--Fitting into chairs/airplane seats/fair rides more comfortably and without fear
--No longer fearing that I am too heavy for someone to save in case of an emergency
--Not feeling ashamed to eat in front of others
--Feeling more outgoing than I've felt in almost two decades
--No longer being overlooked (It's amazing how a larger person can simply become invisible sometimes...)
--Really liking the person I see in the mirror
--Finally feeling in control
--Knowing that I am setting a healthy example for 'my girls' (the girls I disciple)
--No longer having to think about me and my body at all times and in all places. I am free to do what Christ says and truly think of others first.

I sense more and more that I am returning to the person that Christ designed for me to be. And that makes all the ups and downs of this journey worth every minute.

May I be--in every way--to the praise of His glorious grace,

For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts! Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold...And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
--2 Corinthians 3:10-12, 18, NIV

(c) 2008


Lindsay said...

This is GREAT!! What an encouragement for others too!

May this journey continue to take you to great places!

t said...

I read this as I are my big mac. Great. Suddenly doesn't taste very good. Granted, McD's rarely does and we all know it's rare to eat there, but since I was doing it today of all days, I thought I'd share the humor of it :). Though now I'm really convicted about those daily choices....

t said...

Can you edit sentences I should have checked? :) Guess you figured out what I meant ? :) ("ate" not "are" though the irony of what I typed did not miss me)

Beth said...

thank you thank you thank you! this is so full of inspiration that i have now read it at least three times, so many things stand out to me! one I will have to email about sometime. THANKS for being so open on this post! love it! soooo proud of you, so happy for you, so in awe of you, so inspired by you! oxxo

Rachel said...

You are doing so great!! When you come to visit I will not even be able to see you - you will be thin to see. Hee hee