Saturday, November 22, 2008

Facebook Statuses I Don't Have the Courage to Post

So I pop on FB and get to see everyone from my life--past & present--'s lovely families and lives and ministries. And I am so happy for them. Genuinely. Seriously. Without taint.

But sometimes, there's a part of me that feels sad afterward. It's the part that just compared my life to theirs. This is a bad idea. I know. I don't do it intentionally because I know that it is a bad idea. But sometimes, when I'm done looking at their so-very-happy pictures, I want to change my FB status to...

--J is a tiny bit sad that God never made her a mom. (Sometimes the adjective changes.)
--J wishes that she could be a Mrs.
--J loves the humility that has come with her current jobs, but wishes she could say that she had done something really cool for God.
--J absolutely knows God hasn't forgotten her, but sometimes her head has to re-instruct her heart on the matter.
--J is waiting for a really cool God-story to be written into her life.
--J loves the perks of being single (like sleeping until 10:40 a.m. today!) but would be willing to trade those in for the right scenario...

You can't post those. I probably shouldn't post them here, as they might taint your perspective on my perspectives. I rarely 'go here.' Really rarely. But today I did. And since I didn't have the courage to post them for real (especially as my FB people have been known to get the wrong idea and then set about fixing me), I'll post them here under the cover of partial-anonymity.

Thanks for hearing me out. Now, I can move on with my day. It's time to wrap up my lesson for tomorrow. Paul's in Thessalonica! Sabbath-reasoning, prominent-folk believing, bad characters creating trouble...There aren't pirates or sword-fights, but it's still a pretty cool story. Let's see if I can make middle schoolers believe that.

Off to live the life I've been given, and placing my confidence in heaven-stored treasures,

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. --Romans 5:2b-5, NIV

(c) 2008


Beth said...

I love it when you keep it real like this! love it!
you are so amazing.

Rachel said...

I have started writting 5 or 6 completely different thoughts here. Do you ever do that.

1. Sometimes when people tell me needs or wants in their life I like to try to "fix it." I don't have anyone to fix you up with, so you don't need to worry about that.

2. I know that you don't dwell here very often.

different versions of the above and then of course I keep this in my prayers. But only because I know that you would like me to.

Rachel said...

Oh, yeah, You don't even want to see the comments I would have to leave. Just the opposite of yours.

1. R wonders why God gave her 5 kids.

2. R. thinks that since she has 5 - they should at least be somewhat behaved.

3. R. wishes the Cleaning Fairy would come very soon.

4. R. wishes that the Mr. in her Mrs. would stop falling asleep when he is supposed to be watching the kids.

Haaa Haaa

Suzann said...

I also edit my FB statuses and try to keep them upbeat since I am friends with so many kids.

And when I post a semi-cryptic status, then I get all these questions about them.

Oddly enough, I go through my day composing different statuses. Most don't get posted, but it's funny how the FB status has altered my thinking! ha ha! :)

Lindsay said...

You rock... and I'm with Beth ... KEEPIN' IT REAL and HONEST is best! :)

Happy Sunday!

Becoming Me said...

I'm not sure how to respond except to say that I was so blessed by the fact that you opened your heart so deep and poured it out in this post. Beautiful

ikesmomma said...

Hey J you know I love you and have always always thought God has written a most powerful God story in your life. God used you to keep me sane and help pull me out of the depths so many times that I am absolutely positive that you have done the same in hundreds maybe dare I say thousands of others. So you don't go to exotic places, when God calls you home you'll get to see how awesome and far reaching and powerful your story really is. FB staus' are only when people feel good.

Allison said...

Hi, J.--

I identify so much with what you write here. So much! I generally don't put sad FB statuses up because I'm private, but there are times when the "fullness" of other people's families sends me there. Those times happen more often than I'd like to admit, too.

Can you handle a raw emotional reaction to an element of your post? The desire of others to "fix" you--I've experienced it too. Friends remind me of what I know is true about God, and that can be a tremendous ministry to me. At the same time, they also often mix in advice that just plain hurts and screams the fact that they have not walked in my shoes nor do they know as much as they think they do about where my heart is in regard to my struggle. (Things have been said such as "you aren't handling this well" [I'm not a basket case! I get sad sometimes!] or "you need to thank God for this" [How do they know I haven't? I have! I see His blessings in my situation, and I am grateful for them! It is one of the ways I have coped, for lack of a better term. I choose to see the grace of God to me in not having children. They are there in abundance.].) I end up feeling judged and as though I would be wise to just keep the hurt to myself. It is frustrating and sad.

Bottom line--just say "I'm so sorry" or something similar when someone is hurting. The opportunity to give more counsel than that only comes when you've earned the right and know the situation well, and it is best done face to face.

End of rant. :-)