Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Out of Sync

Today, I feel like I'm doing everything incorrectly.
-Relationships with friends
-Relationships with family
-Relationships with co-workers
-Relationships with 'My Girls'
-Relationship with God
-How I manage my time
-How I manage my money
-Where I spend my energies

I feel befuddled and confused and overwhelmed.

I don't like how I'm feeling. I understand that feelings often lie...it's just that I don't have Scripture or data to contradict these feelings right now.

Please understand the million caveats here: I'm not doubting my God or my relationship to Him. I'm not doubting that I am loved. I'm not really doubting at all. It's like...like one big word has been stamped on my forehead: WRONG.

By noon, these feeling could be gone, and my head clear. But right now, I feel shaken and oppressed, and I just want to crawl away and hide.

Just how it is,

The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

--Psalm 27, NIV

(c) 2008


Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I know how you feel...praying those feelings are drown out by truth today.

joyce said...

Wow--all day long, I knew it was Tuesday, but slipped, and thought it was Wednesday, and even convinced Uncle Bob we needed to go to Wed. night church. We were 24 hours early. I'm glad I was not the only one out of sync today.