But one thing that was very instrumental in moving me along that path was a photograph. Here, lifted from my friend Beth's Facebook page (uh, thanks, Beth!), is the photograph:
This photo was taken toward the end of the summer after my freshman year of college. I don't know where...I don't actually remember it being taken. (This was also the tannest my legs EVER got--a summer in shorts will work wonders for even the whitest of girls!)
Why did that photograph affect me? All of my life, from early childhood on (more on that later), I had believed myself to be fat. As soon as I began to grow, it was instantly obvious that I was destined to be tall...and not tall & lanky, or tall & skinny, but tall and average build. But I didn't understand that, nor did many around me, and so the idea of "I am fat" infused itself into my soul.Until the day, a year-and-a-half ago, when I saw this photograph. And suddenly, rushingly, I knew, I could see, that I had NOT been FAT. I had been normal, average weight.
And that's when all my self-conceptions came under deep, deep scrutiny. And eventually, a thousand tiny steps and reasons later, I would begin The Journey.
It is still surprising to me how profoundly this photo from my past affected me. And I still can't fully articulate all that it shook up/loose/crazy in me. But I do know that that one, innocuous act of posting a photo from our ministry team that summer by a long-lost-but-recently-found friend was part of God's plan for my life at this time.
And as usual, I'm awfully grateful to Him for such grace.
Still walking this road,
P.S. Can you pick me out?
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. --Proverbs 19:21, NIV