The Photo That Started It All...Kinda

There were many, many things that started me on the weight-loss path that I call The Journey. Myriad, tiny things that God planted in my heart and mind. God knows that I'm a slow mover-grower-changer kinda gal, and in His grace, He is always patient with me.

But one thing that was very instrumental in moving me along that path was a photograph. Here, lifted from my friend Beth's Facebook page (uh, thanks, Beth!), is the photograph:

This photo was taken toward the end of the summer after my freshman year of college. I don't know where...I don't actually remember it being taken. (This was also the tannest my legs EVER got--a summer in shorts will work wonders for even the whitest of girls!)

Why did that photograph affect me? All of my life, from early childhood on (more on that later), I had believed myself to be fat. As soon as I began to grow, it was instantly obvious that I was destined to be tall...and not tall & lanky, or tall & skinny, but tall and average build. But I didn't understand that, nor did many around me, and so the idea of "I am fat" infused itself into my soul.

Until the day, a year-and-a-half ago, when I saw this photograph. And suddenly, rushingly, I knew, I could see, that I had NOT been FAT. I had been normal, average weight.

And that's when all my self-conceptions came under deep, deep scrutiny. And eventually, a thousand tiny steps and reasons later, I would begin The Journey.

It is still surprising to me how profoundly this photo from my past affected me. And I still can't fully articulate all that it shook up/loose/crazy in me. But I do know that that one, innocuous act of posting a photo from our ministry team that summer by a long-lost-but-recently-found friend was part of God's plan for my life at this time.

And as usual, I'm awfully grateful to Him for such grace.

Still walking this road,
-J

P.S. Can you pick me out?

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. --Proverbs 19:21, NIV

(c) 2009